Thursday, January 2, 2014

Motivation Doesn't Always Come From an Aderall Prescription

There is a time in every girl's life when you realize what is truly important: finding your career path, looking for security in a relationship and smiling at the kiosk people in the mall. It's not their fault they have to harass everyone that walks past them. I'm sure if John Stamos walked by a kiosk they would still wave him down to ask, "Excuse me, what kind of straightener do you use?" HELLO. The Stamos doesn't need you. He washes his hair in the tears of 30 something year olds who all own the box set of Full House. How rude!

So, instead of putting my head down, power walking and completely ignoring the kiosk's cries for help, I now just smile and politely lie that "I already have it! Thanks!" I know, I'm so mature.

What is it about Christmas time that induces this clarity? Maybe it's the fact that your roommate already has all her Christmas gifts in order and you still have yet to go on a Pinterest witch hunt in order to craft your gifts because... Wait, how did Kristin Wiig say it in Bridesmaids? Oh that's right, "Help me i'm poor."

We all need a little push in the right direction sometimes. Some more than others. And yes, by others i'm referring to the kiosk people. Get a real job you hippies. I wouldn't be surprised if the kiosks were a front for an underground cannabis ring. SAY NO TO KIOSKS AND SAY NO TO DRUGS. (Unless that drug is The Mindy Project)

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If you're looking for some extra motivation this season (or extra ca$h) just find a way to put your priorities in order. I find it best to make a list. Do you want to see what my list looks like? I can't, I'm shy. OKAY GUYS, stop twisting my arm please.

*type type type backspace type type*

1. Work work pay the rent
2. Craft your way into the hearts of your loved ones
3. Stop watching so much Dexter
4. Keep up the fitness routine and stop drinking diet coke and telling yourself its "the last time."
5. Apply for Miss Fiesta (because you're at the cut off age and you're kinda old)
6. Graduate next year. It would be cooler if you did.
8. Read a new book every week. 

The new year is looming and instead of waiting until January to make changes in your life, start today. In the words of Mindy Lahiri from the pilot episode of The Mindy Project, "I'm at this point in my life where I can't just do what I want to do. I have to do things that really move my life forward like spinning, do you guys know what that is?"

Here's some more Mindism to help you through the season.

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Images: Courtesy of Tumblr