Monday, March 31, 2014


It just came naturally. As natural as the french braid my mother made me as a child to keep my hair from falling in my face. I have been looking up to Selena since I was a little girl, just as so many women my age have. We all sat on our grandmother's living room floor watching "Selena" religiously and memorizing every line. Chris Perez was our first love. We all know "the washing machine" and how important and difficult it is to be Mexican-American. No matter how famous Jennifer Lopez is today, her portrayal of Selena Quintanilla-Perez is still our favorite J-Lo moment. After-all Ms. Lopez would not be who she is now without her... and neither would we.

I moved to Corpus Christi four years ago, a part of me always felt connected to this sleepy ocean city. I think it was her. Her story. Her passion. Her life. She worked tirelessly to pull her family out of poverty and built her success through pure love for music. Her songs are timeless. The legacy of Selena will live forever in our wondrous hearts and 8 year old minds. Maybe it's because Selena reminds us of who we are and where we are from. She's the aroma of grandma's rice, she's the backyard parties with your Tias who dance around in the moonlight, she's the ballgown we wear when we become women on our 15th birthday, she's home. 

When charming souls are taken too soon from us we are left feeling lost and empty. But you see, Selena's life was too inspiring to leave holes in the people she touched. I still feel her, like I always have. I never met her, but I've known her my whole life. She's the woman I want to become. I find myself following her path and goals that reach the moon and stars. Selena gave me ambition, she gave me the courage to push myself up just as she did all those years ago - in her powerful bustiers. 

It was 19 years ago today Selena past away. The thing is, this is just another day in Corpus Christi. La Michoacana Bakery will still sell pan dulce to their loyal costumers, South Staples and Airline will still be backed with traffic come 5:00 and the waves down the shoreline will never resist moving to the sound of the salt air. We never stop here, we never forget, we always remember Selena. 

My first night I moved to this city I had never lived so far away from home. My parents and big brother had just left and I lied on my bed, trying to find something to watch on TV, something to take my mind off the distance of my family. That's when "Selena" came on and I just knew, this, being here. It was right. She was telling me something, she was giving me faith that this chapter in my life will be my path. I haven't shared this memory with many, maybe I haven't because... well, it is a treasured feeling I share with her. My last year in this city is passing me by and I couldn't help but notice I am the same age now as Selena was when she was killed. That word, killed, saying it out loud hurts - but, not as fervent as the feeling of pride I procure when I speak her name. Only 23 years, that's all it took. That's all she needed to become a hero to my generation and a voice for women. A short life is not always a short story.

Selena has always been guiding me to become someone who will touch lives. 
Thank you. I'll be dreaming of you tonight, Selena. 

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Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Why Girls Need To Make The First Move

Guys aren't difficult to understand. Sorry, was that a generalized statement? Let me rephrase, guys are like that time you were in middle school and you had to change in front of people for the first time. At first you weren't sure what was going on and your training bra was so unnecessary. But eventually you got into the routine and realized that everyone had weird boobs. Sure, guys have Christian Grey mystery at first but once you discover their intentions, you can begin to understand why some of them love to listen to morning talk shows on the way to work, prefer lesser-known coffee shops, are annoyed by bad grammar, or those who are afraid of the moon (selenophobia) etc...

Guys deal with a lot too. They have the stress of making the first move every time. Ladies, don't rely on him. Hitting on guys is awesome; it says you're confident and adventurous. What's the worst thing that could possibly happen? (Aside from walking up to him after getting the pool chalk under your nose and looking like Hitler Smurf.) Other than being bold and sexy, taking the control away from the guy means you can steer this conversation. Maybe start off with, "Hey, I'm (llama) and I saw you over here. Thought you could use a drink... I'm a whiskey girl myself." Then he'll give you the green light to get your quirky flirt on. (Guys love quirky, I think it reminds them of that weird girl in high school who showed up to class looking as if the 80's came back to haunt everyone. (Psstt.. I WAS THAT GIRL.) And guys like the change up from always buying the drink. It says you're an adult and a considerate one at that.

Once you (the girl) have taken initiative, the ball is in your court. Unless you're the Charlotte Bobcats, then that ball is better left drifting like Wilson in Castaway. That scene gets me, EVERY TIME. So, now that the guy is intrigued, check the temperature in the room. Is it going well? Is he more interested in you than his buddies' shuffle board trash talk? Does he have a decent trash talk back ability? If all signs point to Good Time Avenue then why not make the next move? Ladies, you're not being easy or too available. Yes, leave a little to the imagination and keep it classy like your Momma taught you but don't underestimate yourself. Also, keep in mind, guys love the chase just as much as women do. Just because you have the confidence to walk up to him does not imply you require no effort. Let's just see if he can keep up.

And if he isn't feeling all your good vibes (some guys are idiots, for example guys who take "selfies") then toss your pretty hair to one side, smile and say, "Have a great night" because no one will stop you from having yours.